Countrify

OK, so here we are. My last week at home. It's been a great 6 months, I give you that, and now I'm finally going to leave home! I know, I know, most of you have already done that earlier this year, in fact you've even completed your first exam, but for me, it's Taiping all the way since SPM bade adieu last December. Great times, wasn't it? Back in school, when my friends and I were all together; and now, we're scattered all over Malaysia, and soon to be all over the globe. Will we ever see each other again? Well, maybe, but not in these next few years. Maybe when we're all older, in our thirties or forties, we might all have a gathering back here in the town of everlasting peace, but for now, I'm sure most of you are pretty busy.

When I was younger, I always dreamed of one day, leaving home and heading off to college on my own, without having to hear my parents nagging at me all the time. How I miss those olden days; times that have long gone now. I can't believe that I simply wished them away, back then. If I knew then what I know now, how different it would all be. Ah, wishful thinking! Don't get me wrong, I'm still eager to go off to college, but I know that I'm going to miss all this. All the times I spent with my family; going on outings, chatting, playing boardgames, it's all over now. Time definitely flies, doesn't it? 

I' m glad I realised this earlier, back when I first heard Trace Adkins' 'You're Gonna Miss This'. The song was like a wake up call, showing me exactly how much the memories of those days would fill my mind, how much I would miss them.

"You're gonna miss this
You're gonna want this back
You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast
These are some good times
So take a good look around
You may not know it now
But you're gonna miss this"

How true it rings for all of us! We spend every moment of our lives waiting for the next, and in the end, we fail to live in the very moment of it. These past 6 months would be the very last time I'll be able to spend together with my family without interruptions; assigments, exams, even work, but I wasted it all away watching television series and movies which even now I'm forgotten about (Breaking Bad excluded). Maybe I should've spent less time in front of the computer and more time just... talking to my family, you know? Sadly it's all gone now, and no matter how much I regret doing what I did, the past can never be altered.

Ah, how I wish I had more time with my loved ones! All these memories are what would keep me afloat during my days as a scholar. Whenever I feel stressed, pressured by work, depressed by examinations, or anything at all, I shall just conjure up memories of these past 18 years with my family, and the savage breast shall be soothed. The happy memories shall chase away the demons within me, and leave behind a warm, cosy feeling, like my family is always there beside me, even though they aren't. Listening to Tim McGraw's Still made me realise this.

"There's a place I need to be
Mom and Dad my brother and me
First time I ever saw the beach
Back to 1983
And all I have to do is just be still

When the road gets crazy
And tries to break me
And I've had all I can stand
I can close my eyes no matter where I am
And just be still"

 

But I digress. (This post is starting to echo the throes of melancholy, isn't it?) Well, I shall try to banish these thoughts from my mind and look forward to a brighter future. I'm heading to New Zealand! Hell yeah! Haha, that's definitely a great pick-me-up when I'm feeling down. Of course, it isn't America, which I've always wanted to visit so that I can catch a Rascal Flatts concert, but it's still a different country, a different world for me to be in. And I'm pretty damn excited about it, seeing as my cousin is studying there as well and I can meet up with her after so many years! I can always save up and fly to America during the summer holidays (and that is exactly what I intend to do!)

One and a half years. Eighteen months to go before I can fly away from this country, and land among the Kiwis. Of course, I will be pretty busy with my AUSMAT during this length of time, so I probably won't be thinking much about my next 3 years abroad. But I simply can't wait to go! And one of my classmates (you know who you are) is going with me, which makes it all even better. At least I'll see a familiar face in a totally new environment. It'll be extremely lonely if I don't know anyone there, but now I do!

OK, enough with the ramblings. I'm pretty sure I've bored most of you to death (if anybody's actually reading this, that is). I'm never sure if any of you actually read what I've written on my blog, but still, it's a great place to express any hidden feelings that I simply can't put into words vocally. I've always had trouble conveying my emotions through the spoken word. I feel  more comfortable writing it all down, and it flows so much more smoothly compared to when I try to speak. Maybe that's just who I am, you know. A writer.