IMPHAL, March 25: In a bold step that took the state by complete surprise, a gay couple went ahead and tied the nuptial knot. A small step by two individuals but a giant stride for the gay rights movement in India less than a year after the Delhi high court decriminalised homosexual relations.
Although gay live-in couples are not unknown in the state, this is the first time a gay couple openly decided to solemnise their relations to culminate in conjugal sharing.
The wedding ceremony was held at a community hall, Leimarol Art Centre, located at Singjamei in Imphal east district, in the presence of friends, predominantly from the gay community but also heterosexuals and volunteers of NGOs working in the field of HIV/AIDS, and members of the media.
Conspicuous by their absence at the ceremony however were family members of either side.
The bride Nikhil is a talented and successful professionally beautician and the bridegroom Sandeep assists Nikhil. They will not live in either of their parental home, but in the beauty parlour that Nikhil runs.
The news of the marriage had curious people from the locality as well as from afar flock the marriage scene.
The ceremony was organized outwardly in the traditional Western style, although in substance it was not a Christian marriage. Sandeep was in smart in black tuxedo suit and Nikhil in white flowing bridal gown.
They exchanged rings in the manner and style of a Western marriage albeit the ceremony of "you may now kiss the bride" or a service administered by a man of religion.
The couple however, in their own way pledged to the gathering that they would remain as one till death did part them, saying: "we will stand up to face all consequences of our decision together and to all extent."
Although the ceremony was devoid of religiosity, it was solemnised with the blessing of a middle aged lady, supposedly from the groom’s locality and a relative of his, but one who requested the media not to identify her.
This notwithstanding the legal status of the marriage remains unclear as the couple has still not registered their marriage. Since this is the first time, and since laws regarding gay marriages are still not charted out distinctly enough, this status may not become clear in a hurry either.
Spared of tedious religious formalities, the wedding wound quickly and after the ring exchange and blessing from the middle age lady, the couples remained on stage for only a little while longer to receive wedding gifts and blessings from friends and well-wishers in the congregation.
Just before the couple appeared on stage for the wedding to be solemnised, a nurse from an NGO who identified herself as Radharani, working in the field of HIV/AIDS, addressed the gathering.
She lectured and threw in a bit of campaign saying openness of sexual mores can be a big help in controlling HIV/AIDS. Allowing gay marriage would steady gay relations and thus limit gay promiscuity, she said.
Sandeep and Nikhil were only briefly available for media interview. On being asked how they felt, the expected answer was: "We are very much happy".
They also said they would temporarily move into the beauty parlour run by Nikhil until they are able to arrange a more suitable accommodation for themselves.
They said they have been sharing a happy relation for about six years and finally decided they come out of hiding and be husband and wife openly.
They also said they would strive to be a responsible family and citizen, respecting the law of the land.
"As a human being we have feelings. We have not been forced by others to have this feeling, it is in our blood. This is not about perversion but of love and human longing." Nikhil said.
"We decided that we should come out openly and dare to take up the challenges that life as a gay couple would be subject to. We want to give respectability to our love for each other instead of hiding as if in sin." Nikhil added.
They said they were happy that gay relationship is no longer illegal activity in the country following the Delhi High court ruling of July last year.
The couple also solemnly pledged before the congregated public and media men they would face all the consequences of their decision to marry, together and willingly.
The couples also appealed to the general public to understand them. They hoped that what they are daring to do today would bring respectability and with it solace the rest the gay community in the state.
"I’m very awestruck and confused by what happen today" said Mema Meisnam of Singjamei who witnessed the wedding.
The best mate of Nikhil, a young girl, who wants to remain anonymous, said "As a friend I am not against their relationship they have been sharing for quite some time now, however wedding decision was not what she expected".
She said that when she received the wedding invitation card from Nikhil on March 17, she received a shock, and admitted she is still in a daze.
Eliza Angom, a gay beautician said "Im very happy that the ruling of the Delhi High Court legalized gay marriage, the people should encourage and accept such weddings. I acknowledge this is easier said than done in the context of Manipur, but the gay community must be given their due. We are not perverts. We are God’s children too."
"Physically we may be different but we have hearts, we feel love, pain, anguish and every other emotion that anybody else feels, therefore it is better that such marriages are not opposed. This is the natural and logical outcome. Opposing this would make the gay community vulnerable. They can go to the extent of committing suicide to end their anguish", Eliza said.
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